Teenage daughters....well, pre-teenage daughters! Mu oldest will be 13 in June and my younger daughter was 11 in January.
The oldest, she is into "dating", which consists of the following:
Boy: "Will you go out with me?"
Girl: "yes"
Boy: "okay"
Then they proceed to pass each other in the hallway at school, see each other at school events, and perhaps text each other when permitted.
Dating? Sure. They never go anywhere, so okay. This particular boy, however, I am not very fond of. He is a grade older then her and is a little more ahead of her in the game of life as far as "dating" is concerned. Well, I think anyway.
It is very hard to not judge what is going on in the lives of your kids or the people they are with. You don't want to say no they can't be friends with someone, but if those people or their families do not hold the same Christian values or moral values, then you are allowing your children to be influenced, perhaps, negatively. I would like to think my children are going to be the dominating influences in their circle of friends, but there is no guarantee. I guess there are no guarantees. You train up a child in God's way and hope they follow the path.
I can tell you, as long as they are living in my house....I will have a say. So will their step-dad. And their dad. And their step-mom.
My girls have not had it easy in the past four years. Their father and I got divorced after ten years of marriage, I got married and moved to the other side of the country and had a baby. Their dad got married finally let them come live with us this past summer and they are in my care most of the time. They love it here! They did not like living away from me. I have always been the one to take them to their activities, I worked at the same school they attended, etc. So, for two years, it was very difficult! Sure, I went to visit them three times a year and they came back during the too short summers, and that got very expensive. I am still the one who pays for their flights out to see their dad, their school activities, their sports, clothes, food, etc. etc. etc. Their dad pays for nothing unless they are with him. I agreed to it only because I wanted them in my care and would really do ANYTHING for them.
My husband is the money maker. He is a medically disabled U.S. Army Veteran. He was discharged and now receives a monthly stipend from the Veteran's Administration. He also receives social security and I get a small stipend from the VA, as well for being his "caregiver". So, we are totally on a fixed income, as he has been deemed unemployable because of his disability, PTSD. His little souvenir form being in Iraq for 14 months and getting shot at every day and watching person after person be killed in front of him from bombs, explosions, gunfire, etc.
I took on a lot when I met him, but I really know God put me exactly here for exactly now. My husband went form never wanting to leave the room he occupied at his parents house to being married, joining a church, and being a co-leader of a small group at church (with many many steps and details along the way) all in the past three and a half years. I am so proud of him!! God has truly used me and is using us now. I would never have grown this much in God, either, had I stayed in my perfect little big city suburban life, spoiled as can be.
My girls are very strong and resilient, as well. I let them get away with more than they should, but I also have rules they follow. They are kids. And they are girls. They will do what they do, under my guidance and supervision. My husband is learning quickly that girls are WAY different then boys!! It's a good eye opener.
I expect people to make mistakes and my kids are no different. I want them to learn from them, however. I don't want my oldest to get emotional over boys just yet. She doesn't need that baggage this early in life. How do I explain that to her? I am just mom and I don't know much, you know? Apparently I never went through those teenage years. If you are a mom or dad, you understand what I mean. I very much remember thinking that of my own parents; they had "NO IDEA" what it was like to be my age. Ha!
Life is what it is and what we make of it. As long as we follow the instruction book, the Holy Bible, everything will be good.
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