Happy Valentine's Day? I only looked forward to Valentine's Day when I was teaching. In Kindergarten because of the party we'd have and the kids would get so dressed up and share treats make crafts, it was fun! When I taught upper grades, we'd always spend the day on the St. Valentine's Day Massacre...Al Capone, etc. It was a good day no matter how you looked at it. =)
Anymore, it is just a money sucker. Do I like the surprise of dinner and gifts? Yes. But we don't have the money these days and I don't think my husband thinks I like that kind of stuff. I do.
Living in this town puts a toll on you, too. There is no surprise going to dinner. As soon as you leave Somerset, you know you're going somewhere good!
Anyway.....I am still feeling very cranky lately. I have been doing a book study called A Woman After God's Own Heart by Elizabeth George. It is really awesome and so full of the truth and what God gives us as our role as women. The first five chapters was about being and godly wife. I loved it! I was into it! I got it! Then, about Chapter 8 or so, we start to get into the "mom" part....oh my!! I am so discouraged. These stories in there are ridiculous about how the mom has snacks ready each day for her daughter and they sit on the porch and have their after school snack for an hour and then perfect mom goes to get dinner prepared before her hubby comes home from his wonderful job. Please.
I need the story of the stay at home mom in Small town, USA whose husband may be home at six or maybe 3 or maybe 7:30 or noon and whose kids are going to therapy, the other to sports practice, and the baby might need to be woken up from his nap to go get in the car to drive the kids to these things, then the same kids need to be taken to swim practice, picked up, fed dinner, taken to a sports event or church group all within hours of each other. Oh, and the mom is pregnant, so the tired factor is through the roof? Where is THAT story?
I guess I just told it to you. I guess, too, that wonderfulness will not be achieved in one week. I just don't want my older kids to miss out and think I was a better mom to the younger kids. One day, when I have it all together, all figured out (hahahahaha)...I want to write my own book. About average mom and average family who struggles and has been through the wringer and then encourage other people to do the same...write the book. I won't have one of those down-n-out-and-now-more-money-than-we-can-count type of stories...just average...sticking it out, mucking through, "just keep swimming" type of stories.
I need patience and faith. Lord, please take my crankiness from me and throw it in the deepest ocean. Let me have courage and rest. Amen.
Friday, February 14, 2014
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
From 1.5 million to 2.2 thousand
As I was scrubbing the kitchen floor today (surprisingly tiring for being only 9 1/2 weeks pregnant!), I was thinking about the difference from where I came from to where I am, geographically speaking. Not only are the terrain, atmosphere, weather patterns, animals, houses, architecture, history, and convenience different, but the people are very different. I am beginning to understand why people in small rural towns think they are so tough...they are!
In a huge city where everything and anything you want is just a short walk or car ride away, and the conveniences of life is utterly ridiculous, it truly is a spoiled society. Your circle of friends is as big as you want it to be and can be ever changing if someone ticks you off or does wrong to you or your child, or your spouse, other friends, dog, etc. Your life is what you want it to be. You live in little world you make around you.
In this small town, you make someone mad...too bad. You will see them and every relative they have living at some point in time and you better believe they know what is going on. If you fall into hard times, nobody is going to just give you back your life, although they will do everything in their power to help you. If you are mad at someone, you better get over it quick. There aren't many friends to choose from, you have to make the most of what you are given. If a teacher at the school upsets you or isn't treating your kid "fairly", get over it. It is the only teacher in that grade of that subject and chances are, you know someone who is related to them.
I have really had it easy growing up. But I really haven't learned a lot. All my life, if I didn't like something, I moved on. If someone made me mad, I un-friended them (the conventional way, not the Facebook way). Yes, I spent my life growing up in a metropolitan area that consisted of 1.5 million people and growing. And, because of a calling form God, I live in a town of just over 2 thousand, most of which are somehow related to each other, not excluding myself, since this where my mom grew up.
My mom was the ONLY one of her family of 9 that moved out of state. Okay, out of county...out of the town. Nobody moved out. They are all still here. I am pretty sure all of my oldest living relatives live within a 5 mile radius of me. And I don't see too many of them, surprisingly. My cousins, on the other hand, are all spread out; Pittsburgh, Maryland, Somerset, Meyersdale...who knows where else.
Getting back to my point. When I had trouble earlier in life, my parents would bail me out. Which I always greatly appreciated and still do to this day!! It wasn't expected, but it is just what people do out there. The church, even. If someone was in trouble, bam! Car, house to live in, clothes, toys, food...whatever you needed, there it was. I blame the abundance of high paying jobs and concentration of people who had money.
Here, people will still give you the shirt off of their back, but there is something more to it. There aren't people here just waiting to give their money away. In a sense, you need to be a person of character. (Unless of course there is a total catastrophe, then anything you need is right in your hands.) the church, for instance, will help people pay bills, but it needs to be a necessity and they will take a look at where else your money is going to instead of your essentials. Money to you brand new vehicle, no bills paid. Scraping by to make ends meet living meagerly, bills paid. It's a point of view that has really opened my eyes.
I am willing to give anything I can to others, but my family is not exactly in the place to be giving money away until we have our own feet stable. We do what we can for those around us. My husband works with small engines and doesn't charge people for side work. Luckily, he does do work for some very generous people, so, seasonally, we can get caught up (in a sense). I, on the other hand, stay at home with the baby and keep the house. As it is written in the bible, that is my first duty. I was a teacher by trade and one day plan on getting back in the classroom, but working to pay for day care does not make sense to anyone.
My mind is swimming and I could go on a million rabbit trails, but I am trying to stay focused on this topic.
Have a blessed day and if you are reading, please feel free to comment .=)
In a huge city where everything and anything you want is just a short walk or car ride away, and the conveniences of life is utterly ridiculous, it truly is a spoiled society. Your circle of friends is as big as you want it to be and can be ever changing if someone ticks you off or does wrong to you or your child, or your spouse, other friends, dog, etc. Your life is what you want it to be. You live in little world you make around you.
In this small town, you make someone mad...too bad. You will see them and every relative they have living at some point in time and you better believe they know what is going on. If you fall into hard times, nobody is going to just give you back your life, although they will do everything in their power to help you. If you are mad at someone, you better get over it quick. There aren't many friends to choose from, you have to make the most of what you are given. If a teacher at the school upsets you or isn't treating your kid "fairly", get over it. It is the only teacher in that grade of that subject and chances are, you know someone who is related to them.
I have really had it easy growing up. But I really haven't learned a lot. All my life, if I didn't like something, I moved on. If someone made me mad, I un-friended them (the conventional way, not the Facebook way). Yes, I spent my life growing up in a metropolitan area that consisted of 1.5 million people and growing. And, because of a calling form God, I live in a town of just over 2 thousand, most of which are somehow related to each other, not excluding myself, since this where my mom grew up.
My mom was the ONLY one of her family of 9 that moved out of state. Okay, out of county...out of the town. Nobody moved out. They are all still here. I am pretty sure all of my oldest living relatives live within a 5 mile radius of me. And I don't see too many of them, surprisingly. My cousins, on the other hand, are all spread out; Pittsburgh, Maryland, Somerset, Meyersdale...who knows where else.
Getting back to my point. When I had trouble earlier in life, my parents would bail me out. Which I always greatly appreciated and still do to this day!! It wasn't expected, but it is just what people do out there. The church, even. If someone was in trouble, bam! Car, house to live in, clothes, toys, food...whatever you needed, there it was. I blame the abundance of high paying jobs and concentration of people who had money.
Here, people will still give you the shirt off of their back, but there is something more to it. There aren't people here just waiting to give their money away. In a sense, you need to be a person of character. (Unless of course there is a total catastrophe, then anything you need is right in your hands.) the church, for instance, will help people pay bills, but it needs to be a necessity and they will take a look at where else your money is going to instead of your essentials. Money to you brand new vehicle, no bills paid. Scraping by to make ends meet living meagerly, bills paid. It's a point of view that has really opened my eyes.
I am willing to give anything I can to others, but my family is not exactly in the place to be giving money away until we have our own feet stable. We do what we can for those around us. My husband works with small engines and doesn't charge people for side work. Luckily, he does do work for some very generous people, so, seasonally, we can get caught up (in a sense). I, on the other hand, stay at home with the baby and keep the house. As it is written in the bible, that is my first duty. I was a teacher by trade and one day plan on getting back in the classroom, but working to pay for day care does not make sense to anyone.
My mind is swimming and I could go on a million rabbit trails, but I am trying to stay focused on this topic.
Have a blessed day and if you are reading, please feel free to comment .=)
Monday, February 10, 2014
Does it get any easier?
Teenage daughters....well, pre-teenage daughters! Mu oldest will be 13 in June and my younger daughter was 11 in January.
The oldest, she is into "dating", which consists of the following:
Boy: "Will you go out with me?"
Girl: "yes"
Boy: "okay"
Then they proceed to pass each other in the hallway at school, see each other at school events, and perhaps text each other when permitted.
Dating? Sure. They never go anywhere, so okay. This particular boy, however, I am not very fond of. He is a grade older then her and is a little more ahead of her in the game of life as far as "dating" is concerned. Well, I think anyway.
It is very hard to not judge what is going on in the lives of your kids or the people they are with. You don't want to say no they can't be friends with someone, but if those people or their families do not hold the same Christian values or moral values, then you are allowing your children to be influenced, perhaps, negatively. I would like to think my children are going to be the dominating influences in their circle of friends, but there is no guarantee. I guess there are no guarantees. You train up a child in God's way and hope they follow the path.
I can tell you, as long as they are living in my house....I will have a say. So will their step-dad. And their dad. And their step-mom.
My girls have not had it easy in the past four years. Their father and I got divorced after ten years of marriage, I got married and moved to the other side of the country and had a baby. Their dad got married finally let them come live with us this past summer and they are in my care most of the time. They love it here! They did not like living away from me. I have always been the one to take them to their activities, I worked at the same school they attended, etc. So, for two years, it was very difficult! Sure, I went to visit them three times a year and they came back during the too short summers, and that got very expensive. I am still the one who pays for their flights out to see their dad, their school activities, their sports, clothes, food, etc. etc. etc. Their dad pays for nothing unless they are with him. I agreed to it only because I wanted them in my care and would really do ANYTHING for them.
My husband is the money maker. He is a medically disabled U.S. Army Veteran. He was discharged and now receives a monthly stipend from the Veteran's Administration. He also receives social security and I get a small stipend from the VA, as well for being his "caregiver". So, we are totally on a fixed income, as he has been deemed unemployable because of his disability, PTSD. His little souvenir form being in Iraq for 14 months and getting shot at every day and watching person after person be killed in front of him from bombs, explosions, gunfire, etc.
I took on a lot when I met him, but I really know God put me exactly here for exactly now. My husband went form never wanting to leave the room he occupied at his parents house to being married, joining a church, and being a co-leader of a small group at church (with many many steps and details along the way) all in the past three and a half years. I am so proud of him!! God has truly used me and is using us now. I would never have grown this much in God, either, had I stayed in my perfect little big city suburban life, spoiled as can be.
My girls are very strong and resilient, as well. I let them get away with more than they should, but I also have rules they follow. They are kids. And they are girls. They will do what they do, under my guidance and supervision. My husband is learning quickly that girls are WAY different then boys!! It's a good eye opener.
I expect people to make mistakes and my kids are no different. I want them to learn from them, however. I don't want my oldest to get emotional over boys just yet. She doesn't need that baggage this early in life. How do I explain that to her? I am just mom and I don't know much, you know? Apparently I never went through those teenage years. If you are a mom or dad, you understand what I mean. I very much remember thinking that of my own parents; they had "NO IDEA" what it was like to be my age. Ha!
Life is what it is and what we make of it. As long as we follow the instruction book, the Holy Bible, everything will be good.
The oldest, she is into "dating", which consists of the following:
Boy: "Will you go out with me?"
Girl: "yes"
Boy: "okay"
Then they proceed to pass each other in the hallway at school, see each other at school events, and perhaps text each other when permitted.
Dating? Sure. They never go anywhere, so okay. This particular boy, however, I am not very fond of. He is a grade older then her and is a little more ahead of her in the game of life as far as "dating" is concerned. Well, I think anyway.
It is very hard to not judge what is going on in the lives of your kids or the people they are with. You don't want to say no they can't be friends with someone, but if those people or their families do not hold the same Christian values or moral values, then you are allowing your children to be influenced, perhaps, negatively. I would like to think my children are going to be the dominating influences in their circle of friends, but there is no guarantee. I guess there are no guarantees. You train up a child in God's way and hope they follow the path.
I can tell you, as long as they are living in my house....I will have a say. So will their step-dad. And their dad. And their step-mom.
My girls have not had it easy in the past four years. Their father and I got divorced after ten years of marriage, I got married and moved to the other side of the country and had a baby. Their dad got married finally let them come live with us this past summer and they are in my care most of the time. They love it here! They did not like living away from me. I have always been the one to take them to their activities, I worked at the same school they attended, etc. So, for two years, it was very difficult! Sure, I went to visit them three times a year and they came back during the too short summers, and that got very expensive. I am still the one who pays for their flights out to see their dad, their school activities, their sports, clothes, food, etc. etc. etc. Their dad pays for nothing unless they are with him. I agreed to it only because I wanted them in my care and would really do ANYTHING for them.
My husband is the money maker. He is a medically disabled U.S. Army Veteran. He was discharged and now receives a monthly stipend from the Veteran's Administration. He also receives social security and I get a small stipend from the VA, as well for being his "caregiver". So, we are totally on a fixed income, as he has been deemed unemployable because of his disability, PTSD. His little souvenir form being in Iraq for 14 months and getting shot at every day and watching person after person be killed in front of him from bombs, explosions, gunfire, etc.
I took on a lot when I met him, but I really know God put me exactly here for exactly now. My husband went form never wanting to leave the room he occupied at his parents house to being married, joining a church, and being a co-leader of a small group at church (with many many steps and details along the way) all in the past three and a half years. I am so proud of him!! God has truly used me and is using us now. I would never have grown this much in God, either, had I stayed in my perfect little big city suburban life, spoiled as can be.
My girls are very strong and resilient, as well. I let them get away with more than they should, but I also have rules they follow. They are kids. And they are girls. They will do what they do, under my guidance and supervision. My husband is learning quickly that girls are WAY different then boys!! It's a good eye opener.
I expect people to make mistakes and my kids are no different. I want them to learn from them, however. I don't want my oldest to get emotional over boys just yet. She doesn't need that baggage this early in life. How do I explain that to her? I am just mom and I don't know much, you know? Apparently I never went through those teenage years. If you are a mom or dad, you understand what I mean. I very much remember thinking that of my own parents; they had "NO IDEA" what it was like to be my age. Ha!
Life is what it is and what we make of it. As long as we follow the instruction book, the Holy Bible, everything will be good.
Thursday, February 6, 2014
here we begin...again
I used to be an avid Facebook user, but I decided that Facebook is no place to vent and you have to be careful who your "friends" are, etc. I love my friends that I have and FB is a good way to keep in touch, but where can I vent and the chances of someone actually reading it be slim? Blogging! Nobody reads blogs anymore. I am not popular enough for anyone to really care what the heck I am up to anyway. Who is? So, I begin my blogging, or what I may indicate as open journaling. Maybe someone with similar tastes, interests, problems will read it, maybe not. Either way, it's all good.
I started my adult life married and immediately had two daughters. They are more precious to me than anything. I was married for ten years, grew apart, and moved across the country. My daughter's were not allowed to come with me at first. After two years, however, my ex agreed to allow them to come live with my new husband, myself, and their new baby brother. I was elated! It was for sure a God intervention and answer to prayer.
So, here we are, on the east coast, living life. We moved from capital city living (population a few million) to population 2300. Much better....mostly.
My daughters are 11 and 12...going on 19 and 20! They are so wonderful and keep us on our toes! I love reliving these torturous teenage girls years...everything is so important and so dramatic. I remember my days as a dramatic adolescent like it was yesterday. How did my parents survive?! I guess "What goes around comes around" as they say. I wouldn't trade any of it for the world, though.
My little boy will bu two in two weeks. He is a crazy, fun loving little boy...ALL boy! attached to mommy at the hip. Have you had one of these before? I have never known such a whiny kid! He is so sweet, though. And he knows what he wants and when he wants it. Now. He fills our days with laughter and he is such a sponge. He is very smart and reminds me of the girls when they were his age.
Now, this new one that is on the way. Has to be a girl! Already a pain in the butt!! Hahah! totally kidding. I don't remember full time nausea, however, with the other ones. Hoping it will go away second trimester. I have yet to go to the doctor. Honestly, I am nervous. Being 35 an pregnant has some risks. I had one early miscarriage already and do not want to have to face another one. I have taken 5 pregnancy tests and am definitely showing a little bump now. I will be 9 weeks tomorrow. Almost out of the danger zone, but not totally.
I could sit here and write all day but I need to take advantage of getting in the shower while I can.
Blessings,
Erin
I started my adult life married and immediately had two daughters. They are more precious to me than anything. I was married for ten years, grew apart, and moved across the country. My daughter's were not allowed to come with me at first. After two years, however, my ex agreed to allow them to come live with my new husband, myself, and their new baby brother. I was elated! It was for sure a God intervention and answer to prayer.
So, here we are, on the east coast, living life. We moved from capital city living (population a few million) to population 2300. Much better....mostly.
My daughters are 11 and 12...going on 19 and 20! They are so wonderful and keep us on our toes! I love reliving these torturous teenage girls years...everything is so important and so dramatic. I remember my days as a dramatic adolescent like it was yesterday. How did my parents survive?! I guess "What goes around comes around" as they say. I wouldn't trade any of it for the world, though.
My little boy will bu two in two weeks. He is a crazy, fun loving little boy...ALL boy! attached to mommy at the hip. Have you had one of these before? I have never known such a whiny kid! He is so sweet, though. And he knows what he wants and when he wants it. Now. He fills our days with laughter and he is such a sponge. He is very smart and reminds me of the girls when they were his age.
Now, this new one that is on the way. Has to be a girl! Already a pain in the butt!! Hahah! totally kidding. I don't remember full time nausea, however, with the other ones. Hoping it will go away second trimester. I have yet to go to the doctor. Honestly, I am nervous. Being 35 an pregnant has some risks. I had one early miscarriage already and do not want to have to face another one. I have taken 5 pregnancy tests and am definitely showing a little bump now. I will be 9 weeks tomorrow. Almost out of the danger zone, but not totally.
I could sit here and write all day but I need to take advantage of getting in the shower while I can.
Blessings,
Erin
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